Subject: Wilderbourne Industries Reverse Bladder Recycling System™
Date: 27 October 2009 10:37:57 GMT
WARNING: THIS PRODUCT HAS NOT BEEN APPROVED FOR HUMAN USE BY THE AMERICAN MEDICAL ASSOCIATION OR THE UNITED NATIONS DEPARTMENT OF MEDICINE
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We have exciting news to report from the medical enhancement department of Wilderbourne Industries.
Our patented Reverse Bladder Recycling System™ is finally OPERATIONAL and ready for sale in the country in which you are reading this.
So by now you probably have several questions like what is the Reverse Bladder Recycling System™? and where can I purchase it? And how does it work?
Okay okay. Well, let me put it this way; have you ever woken in the middle of the night experiencing extreme thirst AND a full bladder?
You probably lie there and think to yourself "wow isn't this another one of natures HUGE missed opportunities" and you wish to yourself you didn't have to walk all the way to your out-house in the sleet and snow THEN take a trip to the fresh water well for a cup of dirty water!
Isn't there an easier way?
Well guess what, there is an easier way.
Having what feels like a melting slab of ice in your bladder and a mouth as dry as a snakes hat are problems you no longer have to face !!
The Reverse Bladder Recycling System is pretty much what it sounds like! It's a surgical enhancement that connects the bladder to the stomach. When you really need to go to the bathroom you just start the small diesel motor* attached to your bed-belt™, turn the butterfly valve on the 6 inch tube protruding from your abdomen and hey presto.... a stream of warm thirst quenching urine flows directly into your stomach!
It relieves your bladder AND slakes your thirst!
Q. Wait a minute.... can I drink my own urine?
A. That's a good question and the answer is technically YES, drinking urine will not cause death.
Q. But doesn't urine taste kinda funny?
A. That's the best part; you don't even need to taste the urine because it enters your body at a point past the taste receptors in your mouth.
You won't taste a thing.... unless you burp!!!
Q. Doesn't this device have to be installed through a surgical procedure?
A. Yes, the Reverse Bladder Recycling System™ requires a simple three hour surgery to insert the suction nozzle into your bladder and the expulsion nozzle three inches into your stomach. Unfortunately there really isn't a whole lotta room in your abdominal cavity for a six inch tube so the device travels outside the body between the two organs!
Q. Didn't I hear about several deaths two years ago resulting from the use of this machine?
A. That's also a good question. Those people were Chinese and their devices malfunctioned during the prototype development stage when they accidently activated the motor by rolling over in their sleep and were effectively "sucked dry™" But rest assured those kinks have been ironed out and the motor now requires the user to prime it several times with a "whip start" similar to those found on lawnmowers and leaf-blowers.
Its safety features like these that make the Reverse Bladder Recycling System™ unique in the field of motor powered surgical enhancements.
But wait a minute... we haven't even mentioned the best part! The Reverse Bladder Recycling System™ is available in 9 original designs and also available in transparent for connoisseurs and rascals who like to "see it going in™"
For more information on the Reverse Bladder Recycling System™ simply reply with all your details in the world
*The Reverse Bladder Recycling System Motor™ may experience some mechanical difficulties on first usage and operates at 112 dB