On first regard Mister David Harris is a black-hole-singularity of misery and cynicism affecting all around him with his inescapable gravitational pull.

He is constantly disappointed by the repetitive nature of his favourite television show 'Quincy From the Medical Examiners Office' yet watches it twice daily with his nephew Andrew. He spends the duration of the show berating and belittling Andrew and strongly implying he is adopted.

One Summer, when he was nineteen, he urinated on a fire to put it out. He did it on a beach in front of a girl he loved with all his heart. The urine vapourised and created a cloud of urea which enveloped the two. She ran crying into the dunes and David never saw her again.

Years later he would look a Psychiatrist in the eyes and tell him that the 'cloud of urea' incident was the defining moment in his life. The Psychiatrist would explode laughing and include the statement in a book he was writing at the time which would become a best seller.